


Discord Group Story

by Erimentha



Category: Ebon Light
Genre: Chat Storytelling, Crack, Multi, Random & Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 18:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13576422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erimentha/pseuds/Erimentha
Summary: A story told on the Underbliss Discord chat, featuring Mim and Glandire.





	Discord Group Story

One day, Vadeyn returned from the grocery store to discover that Alenca was throwing a party and all the elves were invited but him! 

Vadeyn gasped! "Alenca, but I'm your husband! Why do you do this to me?" 

Alenca snapped, "it was going to be a SURPRISE PARTY!"

"Not possible!" he said, "Haron would not be able to keep his mouth shut about it!" Was she lying?!

The truth was, Alenca was throwing a party to tell Vadeyn that...she was cheating on him with Haron, and had threatened to chop his hair off if he spoke! In response, Vadeyn took off his wedding ring and chucked it at Haron, hitting him square in the forehead!

Everyone gasped, except for Lacey who was rude enough to snort!

Ernol and Duliae turned to Lacey as he snorted, and said grumpy elf examined his nails. 'Don't know why you guys didn't see this coming. Remember when Alenca got with Calipoa?'

Vadeyn gasped when he heard this. "With my COUSIN, Alenca?!"

Duliae dropped a glass of wine, just for sake of making things even more dramatic. The tension was real.

Alenca awkwardly fanned herself- 'Hey, different plumbing isn't cheating!' Conveniently ignoring Haron, who looked brokenhearted, having been ready to propose.

At this point, Calipoa walked through the door, fashionably late. She angled her sunglasses up as she examined the scene. "What'd I miss this time?"

Ernol presented one of his perfect glares. How dared she ask that! The one who was also responsible for causing his brother's heartbreak!? "The reveal of your dirty little secrets, that's what!" 

Lacey whipped out his pen and paper, he and Duliae having started a gossip column at Gha'alia Press, and nodded, while Duliae started taking photos...

The moment Duliae took out his camera, Alenca saw red. She was going to be in control of this moment! So she took a selfie of herself posing with Haron and Vadeyn sobbing in the background.

But no! Calipoa could not stand for it! "Alenca, darling, what are you doing, taking all the spotlight by yourself?" Ah, Duliea could already feel the incoming richness. This article will be a jackpot. Will there be a fight?!

And Calipoa straight up bitch-slapped Alenca! Alenca burst into tears. "I'm sorry! I just needed to say I don't know who the father is! It could be Haron or Vadeyn... or Lonre!"  

Lacey couldn't stop himself from outright laughing at this point. "I'm surprised Gawloyes isn't on that list." Duliae turned to look at him, shocked that he would keep an industry secret from him!

Meanwhile, hearing his father's name Ernol straight out fainted... not being able to bear the shame. And the thought of having yet ANOTHER sibling.

While Ernol fainted, in walked who but Vanya! Lacey squealed and ran to kiss her. 'WAIFU!' They smooched, while Duliae took furious notes.

Unable to stop herself, Calipoa turned her anger on the one who had stolen her TRUE love, and she wrenched Lacey away from Vanya, throwing her drink in his face!

But it was not a regular drink... it had certain spice in it... 

It was the power of fairy dust spice! Lacey started levitating, and grew wings! Ernol woke up only to faint again at the sight.

Duliae tried to get a picture, but Lacey retaliated by grabbing plates off high shelves and throwing them. Her rival humiliated and out of the way, Calipoa dipped Vanya into a kiss!

Alenca was looking at what was going on with Lacey, thinking with great intensity. Wait. "Where did you get that stuff?!" Cali hesitated for a sec, before answering. "There was this pirate..." A camera flash happened, and the very mentioned Rylen smirking just outside the window. Now he's gonna run with the photos he secretly took, to be the first one to sell them! Bye bye losers, money shall be mine! Did he plot all of this?!

Lacey, armed with his new wings, goes zooming out after Rylen! Ain't nobody be bitchier and gossipier than Super Fairy Lacey, head writer for the Gha'alian Bitching!

Alenca looked over the room: Haron and Vadeyn alternating between crying and fighting each other; Calipoa and Vanya whispering sweet nothings; and Duliae trying to recover the memory card from his camera, which broke when Lacey threw a bowl at it. How did she lose control? How did it all go wrong?

Then... Alenca woke up screaming! It was all just a terrible, terrible nighmare. But in truth, reality was not looking all that pretty either...

Because...Alenca had no idea who any of these people were. Who was Calipoa, or Lacey, or Haron, or Vadeyn? Vanya just walked in, telling her Rylen had been captured by a bunch of elves off the coast, and that she had to go pick mushrooms.

**Author's Note:**

> this is insanity and i'm not even sorry


End file.
